Conner's Blog

• Acceleration – Usually leads to the creation of item I during the first snow storm.  Formation is combated using item S.
• Brake Lights – These light the way down 35W during every snowstorm.
• Creep – What drivers experience when it’s either snowing or has snowed.
• Death Grip – How a percentage of drivers hold the wheel, panicking at the first flake and don’t top until the last ice melts off Lake Minnetonka.
• Early – As in leaving early today, a failed attempt by workers to beat the weather, foiled by every other worker attempting it at the same time.
• Fall – A 4-5 day period of gorgeous color and temperature that proceeds winter.
• Gas Mileage – Falls dramatically due to warming up your car and of course item C
• Happy Hour – Something you frequently miss due to item C.
• Ice – The savior of auto body shops.
• Jumper Cables – Magical items that can win new friends in the office parking lot.
• Keyboard – A useful item on your cell phone to keep insanity at bay during item C.
• Lights – Mythical objects on the front of your car that are meant to light the road, due to item S they become worthless after 5 minutes on the road.
• Matchbook Mark – The Nickname of the drivers who refuse to scrape their windshield and drive with a matchbook sized area to see through until their car defrosts itself.
• Negative – Used to describe temperatures
• Overcast – Contained in 99% of weather forecasts from October – March.
• Panic Braking – Slamming on your brakes as hard as possible  on icy roads and pressing harder when your car fails to stop.
• Quadrupled – Describes how long your commute is when it snows the first five times.
• Rust – The creation of which is accelerated to Usain Bolt speed due to item S.
• Salt/Sand/Silt – A few of the key ingredients of the car destroying mixture created by MNDOT.
• Traction – Frequently taken for granted, many drivers seem shocked to lose it during the first blizzard.
• Useless – A term used to describe, brakes, wipers, windows, mirrors, and lights during an ice/snow storm
• Vacation – Something many Minnesota residence do in January, February, or March to stave off insanity.
• White – A color seen for 10-15 minutes after each snow storm which is then replaced by brown.
• X-rated – The inside of your car while experiencing item C.
• Yeti – What you may look like after spending 5 minutes brushing off your car during a blizzard.
• Zero – A magical temperature reached occasionally in February.

This winter hasn’t been too bad, but this week nearly drove me over a cliff due to the traffic.  Can we all agree to drive 10-15 mph slower and stop getting into accidents every three minutes?

Post to Twitter Delicious Digg This Post Facebook Stumble This Post