This site functions as an archive of Conner's Blog, which was a blog from 2006-2014 located at Images and links are likely to be broken.

Breaking News - Twitter Owes the Mafia Money

A trusted source, with knowledge of Twitter recently let it slip that Twitter is in trouble. Due to Sunday's poor outing by the Minnesota Vikings, and some poorly placed bets. Twitter apparently owes money to the Mafia. There have been reports of random people getting into people's feeds, random DMs being sent to cell phones, and people suddenly having themselves stop following others. There is no doubt this information is related. There are unconfirmed reports that they failed to feed the hamsters recently due to lack of funds as they try and save some of their venture capital money to pay off the mob.

So grab the women and children, stock up on groceries, and start working on the underground bunker. Twitter will soon be run by Tony Soprano and friends.