This site functions as an archive of Conner's Blog, which was a blog from 2006-2014 located at Images and links are likely to be broken.

How to Behave in an Airport (and on a plane)

  1. Do not argue with the ticketing agent about your bag weight. Just because your bathroom scale said it was 49.5 lbs, does not mean that they are going to allow you to get away with it showing up as 52 lbs on their scale. Is it ridiculous that you have to remove an item and stick it in your carryon? Yes. Can the ticketing agent do anything about this? No.
  2. Do not argue with the TSA. Security rules are ridiculous, but they are the rules. They are meant to keep you safe, and the person you are arguing with is in charge of keeping bombs off the plane. Do you really want to waste his or her time arguing about your toe nail clippers?
  3. When walking to your gate, either walk quickly and with purpose or move to the side. Many people in airports are trying to make it to a flight on time. Respect that, and if you aren't in a rush don't hold them up.
  4. For the love of all that is good, if you are on an escalator or a moving walkway and just standing there, get out of the way. See item 3.
  5. You don't get an extra carry-on. You get two, like everyone else.
  6. Yes, you are clever and saved a few bucks by not checking your 50 lb roller bag. Now you have to gate check it. Deal with it.
  7. You will likely have to sit next to another human being at the gate; don't take up four seats with your bags. Also, don't act like you are inconvenienced when a 60 year old woman asked you to move one of them.
  8. Move to the side as you stow your carryon. Also, try sticking it under your seat. Whatever you do, do it quickly and sit down so the people behind you don’t have to stand still for 5 minutes.
  9. Don't change seats willy-nilly. If you want to sit next to someone you know, wait until the person you want to switch seats with shows up and ask. You'll probably be rewarded.
  10. Get off the phone.
  11. Do not lean your seat back before takeoff. You're just going to have to put it up before takeoff anyway. In fact, you should avoid leaning it back in general; it’s just irritating for the person behind you. Did you notice there is no room on the plane?
  12. Turn off your portable electronics when told. Yes, the chances of it causing a problem are tiny. On the other hand the chance you look like an arrogant ass if you don't turn them off is about 100%.
  13. Listening to music is great, but please keep the volume low. We don't need to here the latest remix of Bieber's greatest hits.
  14. When the plane lands and you turn on your cell phone, turn off the sound. The entire plane does not need to know you received four text messages, six emails, and a voicemail while in the air.
  15. As when entering the plane, be efficient. Every moment you spend rummaging around the overhead bin is a moment longer than the rest of us want to be on the plane.
  16. At the baggage claim, stand back about 3 feet, the belt moves slow enough that you will still reach your bag in time, and no one will have to push you out of the way to get their bag when it gets there before yours.
  17. Thank airport and airline employees. Travel sucks, and 90% of them probably agree with you that the rules that make it suck could be disregarded. Make everyone’s day better and don’t take it out on them.