Conner's Blog

I got the news today I’ve been dreading for a while. My parents had to put our dog Shadow to sleep. It didn’t come as a surprise, she was something like 16-17 years old, and has had a lot of health problems the last few years.*

I’m kind of heartbroken right now. Anyone who knows me well knows I love animals as much as I love people.  But she had a great life for a dog. She spent most of her years on a farm, roaming around, getting dirty, finding smells, and doing all the things dogs love to do.

Shadow wasn’t exactly the most playful of dogs though, she never played fetch, never wanted to play tug-o-war, or any other games dogs normally love. Instead she just wanted to be with people. She was always this way, whenever she had a chance she’s cuddle up right next to you, leaning all her weight against your leg to let you know she was there. She loved riding in our old pickup, not so much for the ride, but because she knew that when you where in the truck you couldn’t get away from her, she’d slowly creep over to the driver’s side and press herself against you.

Of course she had passions, nothing made her happier than chasing cattle. She wasn’t trained for this but usually did a pretty solid job of doing what you wanted and not getting in the way. When she really got into it she’d actually run behind a cow and grab it’s tail and swing along behind it. It probably wasn’t the best thing for keeping the herd calm but she had a lot of fun doing it.

She was kicked by cows, run over by all four wheels of a 4-wheeler once, was hit by a van and broke her shoulder, and got in a few fights with barn cats. She always survived though, and was up running around following us on whatever chores we had.

During the fall when harvest was going on she loved riding in the grain trucks and then trying to catch the mice that were scared up by all the machinery in the fields. She’d try to catch rabbits as well, but I’m pretty sure she never caught one. She never went too far away though, I don’t think she ever made us wonder if she ran away.

We got her because someone rescued her from a ditch where she had been left. She was always a calm dog when she was around people, even those she didn’t know well. I don’t think she ever really disliked anyone.

Until my parents moved to a town and she was forced to socialize, she was never really a fan of other dogs. I still remember the winter we had a black lab wander onto the farm. He was obviously pretty young, probably 2 years old at the most, so of course he had a ton of energy. She didn’t hate him, but she just barely tolerated him. She was quite happy when we finally found his owners and sent him on his way.

She wasn’t allowed on the furniture, but she figured out at some point that the couch was really comfortable. She’d wait until everyone was in bed before she got up on it, who knows how long she did this before she no longer woke up the second my dad got out of bed and he found her laying on the couch.

As she got older she learned more and more ways to get attention. She could have the saddest face in the world and of she would paw at you if you weren’t paying attention to her. Thankfully she was pretty good about not doing this to strangers. To her family though, she always wanted to make sure she wasn’t forgotten.

Going home will never be the same without her smiling face and wagging tail. She was always the sixth part of our family and a constant that I will always remember.

* I wrote this a few weeks ago when my parents first thought they were going to have to say goodbye. I’m glad it’s remained in my drafts since then as it gave them more time with her. She is a dog I’ll never replace in my heart no matter how many pets I have in my life.

** This week has been incredibly draining, the world also lost an amazing woman and one of my best friend’s mother’s to cancer this week. I’m probably going to be kind of quiet around the webs for a few days.

First, I should apologize for leaving you all hanging with such a strange and confusing last post. For the record, I’m doing fine, still living life, cooking, and spending more time away from home then at home.

Still, I think I needed last week off, it was good to avoid any self imposed pressure to write. That post gave me the ability to just shrug off any pangs of guilt that creeped into my conscious thinking about all of you readers sitting at your computer hitting refresh every minute or so hoping I would write something new. Don’t lie to me, I know you did this all week.

But after a lot of great conversations with some really awesome friends, hanging out with some of my best friends from college who I don’t see nearly enough, I think I finally at least have a general goal for the next few months in place. As I stated before, I’m working on several projects, all website, that I hope to have launched in the next two months or so. I’m not ready to publicly announce what they are, but if you see me in person and want to know, I’ll give you the inside scoop. I’m really excited about two of them and the third is something I’ve wanted to do for a while. I’m not 100% certain I can make it work, but I’m going to try.

I have a few other things I’m working on and also need to do as well, some of which I can post here; others that I have to keep close to the chest for now. Still, I can give you a short list of a few things I’m working on, and am planning on doing in the coming weeks.

• Make ricotta and mozzarella cheese – I recently began getting whole milk from a local farm, and since I don’t drink much milk, I need to work on using up a half-gallon of milk a week. My goal is to try making some different cheeses and see if it’s something I can do weekly.
• The gym – I’ve been awful the last two weeks, and it’s time to remedy that. I enjoy food way too much to not be at the gym three days a week.
• Cook, cook, cook – I’ve been slacking in the kitchen as well and I need to start cooking again.
• Talk to some freelancers – This may be giving somethings away, but I really need to sit down with some people who do freelance work and figure out how one goes about getting started. I have some ideas of what I want to do, I just don’t know what I need to do to do them.

Well that’s a short list, some of which are always on my list, others are new. I like putting things up on my blog because I always feel guilty when I can’t write about how I succeeded. So now I need to get to work on accomplishing some of these things.

Have a great Monday everyone, time to get this week off to a great start.

I vowed to not post until January, but I couldn’t let the New Year come without saying something. (Shocking I know)  I’ll be posting a Friday Five tomorrow of incredible reflections on the year past. I’m amazed at how many great posts I stumbled across this week, but I think that tells you how important it is to write with your heart on your sleeve. Putting it all out there is terrifying, but those who do it affect others in amazing ways.

As I stated in my 2009 roundup this year has been a great year. So many new experiences, new friends, and a new outlook on life. I don’t have a lot of resolutions this year. I do have few though. I need to work hard on trying to take things that I want, even if the attempt might hurt. I need to stop being afraid of failure. I’ve made strides in this, but failure still terrifies me. So I’m making a promise to myself to fail more in 2010.  Sounds weird I know, but it’s what I need to do. Second, work hard at finding what I am passionate about that I can get paid for. I think my first resolution will help with this, but I’m not sure. I have told a few people I’m looking for a career change, but when anyone asks, “What do you want to do” I have no answer. I love so many things, but I don’t know what combination of them I need in a career. So I need to spend some of this coming year searching for what I want to do for a career, and being willing to fail in the attempt to get there.

Anyway, have a great new year, and if you are reading this before 2010 actually get’s here I wish you a happy and safe evening. If you read it after 2010, I don’t know what to say, I’m disappointed, I thought this blog was all you cared about.

2009 was an great year, between my online life and my social life, I’ve expanded my circles in so many ways it’s almost unbelievable.  I’ve posted on this blog 92 times and received 497 comments . I’ve taken 696 photos that I felt were good enough to be posted on Flickr. I’ve made jam, curry, gnocchi, and more than a few pizzas. I’ve met so many new people it’s not even funny, and have made a bunch of new friends.

That being said I didn’t accomplish a lot of the goals I set for myself at the start of the year.  I’ve hardly put a dent in my MN to do list and I only accomplished three of my seven goals for the year. But I’m fine with that. If I had known how my year was going to go, I wouldn’t have set those goals like I did. Instead I would have made the following list.

• Meet close a 100 new people in real life by using the Internet
• Break out of my comfort zone and do some crazy public speaking
• Shop locally as much as possible
• Eat out at many new restaurants
• See more live musical performances than I had in all previous years combined
• Get a photo on Minnpics
• Fall in love with street food
• Discover a ton of new music, including lots of local artists

Yet that’s the beauty of life. You set goals for yourself and even if you don’t accomplish those goals, you usually end up better for it. I’m going to maintain a few of the goals from 2009 going into 2010. I will bike a century and I will look up my relatives. My MN to do list is going to undergo a major renovation and I will try to do more of it.

My major goals for 2009 are to move my career to a place I’m happier with, keep meeting new and interesting people using whatever resources I find, and keep doing what I’m doing. I’m not going to say my life is anywhere near perfect, but it is great. I can’t wait to see what 2010 brings.

Last night I suddenly got an overwhelming urge to go home for Christmas. Up until then I hadn’t really felt bad about missing Christmas. The reason I wasn’t going home is because I can’t get much time off for Christmas and flying is ridiculously expensive. Tickets are over $400 and going home for 2-3 days for that kind of money doesn’t exactly seem worth it.

There are a few issues at work here. One, the cost to fly is now $600+ and rising quickly. Two, the drive is at least 12-13 hours and goes right through the heart of North Dakota which is not only exceedingly boring, but also notorious for nasty snow storms. Three, I’m dog sitting for Nicky and even though I know Ninja can travel well, getting stuck with her seems like a bad idea. I also don’t completely trust my car, though I’m sure it will be fine, it doesn’t have any problems and is running great when I do drive it.

Anyway, I’m working on making a decision. If I do go it will be a quick trip and next week will be a drag, but spending Christmas with my family is really tempting. It also would lead to mountain photo opportunities which would be fun.

I managed to get into an accident yesterday afternoon. Nothing major, but it will be interesting to see the process  from the other side of the table.  Thankfully no one was hurt. It was a stupid mistake on my part and sign that I need to get my head on straight. I was thinking about other things and suddenly I was not thinking about those things. No major damage to either car either thankfully. The other driver only had a little damage to the front fender. My car suffered a pretty major dent on the rear driver’s door, but no other damage that I can see.

The crazy thing is, even though I work with claims for a living, I forgot to do a few things that I knew I should have done. Nothing major but I still felt kind of dumb. But I guess it just goes to show that when I tell my customers that everyone forgets things after an accident, I’m not full of it. It’s amazing how even a little accident leaves you shaken up.

I kind of want to blog about the whole process, but don’t know if I should since it’s with the company I work with.  Maybe I’ll write it down and publish it if I ever leave.

Earlier this year I puppy sat for a week for friends who live in Woodbury. Things went pretty well at that time, though the commute was not my cup of tea. So when Nicky asked me to dog sit Ninja for three weeks I decided to take her up on it. So I’m living at her place since my apartment doesn’t allow dogs.

I’m enjoying having a little ball of fluff as a companion, and I may just decide to keep her when Nicky get’s back.

P.S. If you want to follow our adventures, I setup a little side blog to keep Nicky up to date. Just to warn you, it’s written in 1st person Ninja.

As part of my birthday goals, I stated that I was going to try to date more.  As of right now this has been a complete and utter failure, which honestly is not surprising.  I’ve never been good at asking women out. I’m getting better at striking up conversations but I still usually end up not asking or end up discovering the girl is in a relationship or living in another state.

Therefore, I’m turning to the Internet for help*.  I’ve tried online dating sites in the past and have never had any luck, so I’m going to use my blog to appeal to the single females of Minneapolis.  Let’s get lunch, dinner, coffee, breakfast, or drinks. Of course, I’m willing to do other things as well, if you ask me to come up with something more original for a date I will accommodate that.

I’m mainly looking for a fun time; a great conversation or an adventure with someone new.  I’m not expecting fireworks or sex on the first date.  That said, I am serious about finding someone to form a meaningful relationship with.  I’m by no means ready to be done dating, but if I happen to find the one, I’m not going to freak out and run away because my single life is over.

If you are wondering why you should go a date with me, or introduce me to your friend, well I can give you a few reasons.

1. I can cook.  Evidence can be found here, here, and here
2. I love adventure, whether in Minneapolis or elsewhere, exploring new places is sort of my hobby
3. I’m a board member of an exceptional non-profit orchestra that gives their performances for free
4. I love going out, but I’m also fond of just sitting at home, as long as I have someone to sit at home with
5. I’m a touch crazy but in a good way
6. I’m a giant geek who has learned to embrace his geekiness
7. I’m not an asshole, and am pretty sure I never will be
8. I’m almost always on time and I keep my promises
9. I love to debate/argue, even if I agree with you, because it’s my favorite way to learn.  It’s also ingrained in my father’s family, all of my cousins are the same way.
10. That being said, I hate conflict and drama
11. I’m a terrible writer who loves to write
12. I love to laugh
13. I rarely get irritated or mad
14. I’m kind of awkward and have been known to kill a conversation with the ease of an experienced creeper
15. Yet I’m fairly certain that I’m not that creepy
16. Did I mention I love food, of all kinds
17. I have a degree that I’m currently putting to very poor use, but this is something I intend to remedy soon
18. I’ll drop everything to come to a friend’s rescue
19. I love taking pictures of pretty much everything
20. I love music and am becoming a live music addict
21. I have a terrible sense of style
22. I’m an introvert who happens to be stuck in an extroverts skin

It’s probably time to stop talking about me and talk about you, or your friend, or your friend’s friend.

What I’m looking for

1. Someone in their twenties would be preferred
2. I must find her attractive, sadly I’m not that great of a guy
   1. I prefer thin girls, though not stick figuresque
   2. I have no preference when it comes to hair color
   3. Nice eyes, I have a thing for eyes
3. Nerdiness/Geekiness is a plus; a love of Firefly, Monty Python, computers and the Internet, blogging, and/or the Discovery channel are encouraged
4. You must love to eat; I cannot date a bird
5. A love of adventure is key, if you find Minneapolis boring we probably won’t get very far
6. I’d prefer a woman who would rather watch the news than TMZ
7. Pet owners are welcome as I love animals yet am currently sans pet

Okay, I’m going to stop there.

So here is the deal, I’d love to be introduced to someone great.  I’m willing to go on a blind date, meet in a social setting, or develop a crazy ten part plan where we both wear orange and meet at the Sculpture Garden at sunset.  Whatever you want I’m probably willing to accommodate. And maybe that’s the last reason I’ll give for why someone should take a chance with me.  I’m extremely easy going and like to go with the flow, as long as it’s a semi-planned flow.  So send me an email or leave a comment and let’s make things happen.

* This post is in many ways inspired by Art, who met and is currently dating the wonderful Emily due to writing a similar post a while ago.

A little over a month ago, I turned 27 and I established a set of goals for myself.  If you want to read the full posts, here are links to goals one, two, three, four, and five.

For those who do not want to read my mindless jabbering in more than one post today, my goals were as follows.  Volunteer more, date more, financial management, maintain my relationships, and eat right.  Here is a quick update on my progress.  I’m going to try and do these monthly so I can shame myself into working harder at accomplishing them.

Volunteering

So far, this goal hasn’t picked up more steam.  I did pick up my involvement in the Orchestra and put in quite a bit of work over the past few weeks for that organization, but I haven’t done anything besides that.  I hope that this month, maybe over Thanksgiving, I will find an organization and work a few hours for them.

Date More

Ummm, we will leave this as unaccomplished and very little progression.

Financial Management

This is a mixed bag.  I haven’t made any big purchases this month, even though B&H sent me an email that the prime lens I’d been looking at was in stock.  I do need to stop eating out as much, though I didn’t go out for lunch all last week.  I think if I can limit myself to only eating dinner out and only doing that two times a week I’ll be happy with my progress.  This isn’t going to be easy though.

Maintaining Relationships

I ordered and received Moo cards with my contact information on them.  This was great and now I just need to work on making sure I have some with me all the time and also work on getting other’s information from them.  This is going to be a challenge but if I just remember to work on it, I know I can succeed.  On a positive note I ran into an old co-worker from college last night and remembered to get a card to him so hopefully I can reconnect with him and his wife(who I also worked with) sometime.

I haven’t made a conscious effort to send thank you cards, but I do have some sitting on my desk now, so I can’t use the excuse that going to the store and buying them is too much effort.

Eating Right

This was going great up until the last week or so.  Too much eating out, and not enough portion control.  On the plus side, I’ve been eating whole grain cereal almost every morning which not only helps with the calorie consumption but also is just overall good for you.  I’m only allowing myself to eat out on Tuesday this week, until Friday when I head to Grand Forks.  This weekend will be a challenge but I’m going to work hard at not gorging at every meal.

I am giving myself a C grade for this month.  Though I’ve made progress in some of these goals I’ve also not made much more than a mildly conscious effort to push them forward.  So, for those of you who know me, yell at me if you see me slacking.  For those of you that don’t, please also join in the yelling.

I try to keep this blog updated regularly, but it seems like I fall behind more frequently then I keep up any more.  Still I’m happy to report that other than a small spat of writer’s block on Friday, I actually have just been too busy to write.

Friday, I went costume shopping, then had a couple drinks at the Independent, watched the Twins break my heart at Sauce and then was home fairly early, though not totally sober.

Saturday, I went to Mill City Market where I stole the mayorship from Kate.  With only one week to go, hopefully I can retain it next weekend and hold onto it until spring.  I picked up a few apples, some cranberries, and some garlic.  Nicky and her mother gave me a few leeks as well.  Looking forward to doing a some cooking next week.

After the market I hit up Unsummit and had a great time.  Met a few people who I hadn’t  met in real life before and definitely learned quite a bit.  I’m really looking forward to the next one.  Hopefully I’ll be a little better prepared and will get a bit more out of it.  I also will have business cards by that time.  You have to enjoy events where you get to network with great people and listen to people smarter than you throw ideas around a room.

After leaving Unsummit, me and Art got together and put the finishing touches on our zombie costumes and we headed downtown to the zombie pub crawl.  I had a great time but they needed 30 more bars or so to participate.  It was wall to wall zombies at every bar.  On the plus side, wall to wall zombies is a lot of fun if you don’t actually want to purchase a drink.  We ended the night by rolling over to Northeast and doing a little karaoke at the Otter.  Overall a successful zombie pub crawl debut.

Today, I have to go retrieve my car, do a bit of laundry, then it’s off to Stillwater to listen to Beethoven while following the Twins game via whatever source I can find.  Then we have another stop in the Reuben tour. Tomorrow, I have nothing scheduled.  Hopefully I can lay low and recover a bit, and maybe finish and launch a couple new sites I have rattling around on the server.

Happy Sunday readers.