Being unwilling to disappoint Emily, I decided to post a Friday edition of yesterday’s post. I was going for funny not creepy, not sure if I accomplished this. :)
- Shave your head, nothing says don’t stalk me quite like making it impossible for me to steal your hair to save in the page of my favorite video game manual
- Change your email password, how else am I supposed to know what your plans on Thursday night are
- Switch which coffee shop you go to every morning, I only travel two miles from home, so if you just move to the Starbucks closer to work I won’t be able to be there
- Hang out with your girlfriends more often, too many cute girls in a room terrifies me
- Defriend me on Facebook, I’m only away from my computer for three hours or so and if I can’t stalk you there outside of that time, well I’ll find someone else
- Let me overhear you bashing Battlestar Gallactica, no girlfriend of mine could hate that show
- You could also say Startrek is better than Star Wars, no one worth stalking would believe that
- Stop leaving your receipts behind at restaurants, nothing says I don’t like you quite like keeping me from increasing my collection.
- Use your back door, there are no good hiding places for me and my camera back there
- Talk to me, honestly I’ll run away and never come back
During the writing of this post I did a search for “how to stalk someone”, anyone want to take bets on how long before the Burnsville police are knocking on my door.
