Conner's Blog

If you happen to follow me on Twitter, you know that I”m an compulsive twitterer.  When I go on a streak there is always the possibility that I’ll single handily cause a fail whale appearance or  a 4-5 minutes delay on tweet delivery.  In fact, according to tweetstats I post around 20 updates a day.  Of course, when you consider the fact that I signed up for twitter about 5 months before I actually started using it, you can probably put my tweets per day at round 30-40 when I’m actually on line most of the day. 

Why am I writing this?  Well yesterday I was on Twitter, discussing this and that, and saw a link from @intheloop to PC Magazine’s 13 Twitter Dont’s.  I read through it, and immediately posted the fact that I generally break rules 3, 5, 7, and sometimes 8.  So here’s the deal, I’ve already posted my rules for getting me to stop following you, so here are my rules for Twitter.

1. There are no rules

Sorry to dissapoint all of you, but that is it.  Of course it’s important to use common sense, you are leaving your public record out there. Still, if you want to tweet 3 or 300 times a week, never reply to anyone, only follow celebrerties or news orgs, or just tweet about going to the restroom, go for it.  That’s the beauty of Twitter, as long as you don’t break the terms of service, you’re in control.  Of course you might not have any followers, but hey that’s your choice, and of course everyone elses choice to.  So go for it, if your not on Twitter, join, if you are on Twitter, don’t read up on how to fit in, it’s a community not high school, everyone has their place.

I’ve been having some horrendous customer services experiences as of late.  In frustration I’ve written down my 11 rules for sales.

1. Smile -  Nothing dampers my mood to buy faster than a sales person who looks like he’s about to go on a shooting spree.
2. Listen and pay attention – Do not assume you know what’s going on.  If you hear someone talking about cell phones and cameras and whether something works on one when it’s labeled for the other one, don’t assume it’s a memory card.  They could be talking about LCD screen protectors.
3. Don’t lie – This should be obvious, but I’ve had it happen.
4. Don’t make things up – If you don’t know the answer either find someone that does or look it up.  If you cannot figure it out let the customer know.  I’m more likely to come back if I know you’re willing to admit you don’t know.
5. Don’t just read the box – I’ve had several experiences where sales associates didn’t see Linux written on the box and just said it wouldn’t work.  I’ve asked them to do a quick Google search for me and have always been denied.  Google is your friend; just tell the customer that unless the manufacture supports it, you can’t provide any support.  Chances are, if they were willing to purchase it unsupported by the manufacture, they wouldn’t come to you anyway.
6. Know your co-workers – When I used to sell computer components, I knew which one of my fellow employees would know the answer to certain types of questions.  Everyone has their area of expertise, don’t hesitate to use them.
7. Never ignore the low cost items – Your customers usually want to spend as little as possible.  Show them the lower priced items, and then tell them what benefit they get by spending a little more.  No one enjoys looking at a $400 laptop and having the salesperson push a $1200 laptop.
8. Never answer the phone – Ok, maybe never is a bit much, but if you have customers in the store let the phone ring.  The customers in the store can buy something now, the person on the phone is most likely price shopping.
9. Learn to handle more than one customer – This may seem like bad service, but if done right you can do it.  Pay attention and know when to say “I’ll give you a minute to think about it” or similar.  Walk over to the unattended customer and let them know your there.  Just acknowledging the customers presence goes a long way toward making them happy.
10. Know your competitors – This does not mean you should go wander through their stores on a weekly basis, but you should know who would have something you may not have or be able to get.  Also knowing things like who has the best cable prices will earn you repeat business, even if it is not for cables.
11. Break the rules -  If your customers aren’t walking out the door happy change something up.  What worked yesterday may not work today.

I generally try to follow anyone who follows me, and I’m consistently looking for interesting people to follow, but I do have a few rules which I tend to use when deciding who to follow.

1. If you are following twice as many people as are following you, I will not follow you.  I am guessing you are just trying to get new followers by following random people.  The exception to this rule is if you are new and have only a few followers.
2. I won’t follow you if your time line consists of only links.  I love the content I find through Twitter, but the real conversations that occur are worth much more.
3. If you are local, and you don’t completely violate my other rules I will always follow back.  I have found out more interesting things about the Twin Cities in the six months I’ve been on Twitter, than I did in the year and a half before.
4. If you do not have a bio, a link, or your real name in your profile, why are you here?  You do not need to do all three, but you should at least go for two out of the three.
5. If you follow more than 1000 people, I will assume you don’t care what I say and will do the same.  The exception is if you are truly famous and have close to a 1:1 follower to follow ratio.
6. If you do have a link in your profile and it goes to a page that is 80% ads.  Well you do the math.
7. If you tweet in all caps more than once a decade, you can guarantee I will not follow you.
8. Swearing, though funny occasionally, is no substitute for actual content and humor.  If you swear because it’s easy I will not follow you.
9. If your tweets consistently cross the 140-character line into a new tweet, I will find you annoying and I will not follow you.
10. Do you constantly pick fights on Twitter? I left trolls behind with vBulletin. Healthy debate is acceptable and encouraged though.

Well after writing down these rules, I realize I need to quit following myself.  Does Twitter allow me to do that?